My Relationship With Pole

Like all alcohol induced teenagers, the first time I danced on a pole was in a bar. And I promise, it was nothing worth making note of.

Fireman Straight LegBut the first time I actually tried to learn how to pole dance was different. It was exciting, challenging and completely rewarding. Never one for sports (or any physical activity really) I found that I was actually good at pole dancing.

Quite often we beat ourselves up over our lack of capabilities. Anything really. “I wish I could ________” or “I suck at __________”. So it felt pretty amazing to feel confident about something.

 

At the time, it didn’t matter that my technique was crap. Or that of all the spins, the back hook took me the longest to grasp. What mattered was that pole dancing made me happy, confident & challenged.

For a long time that didn’t change. Pole still elicited the same feelings from me. Fast forward a couple of years and somehow pole and I had lost our connection. It became something I had to do but I wasn’t making any progress at. So I took a break.

In a fit of anger one night I jumped back on the pole. It had been two years. Having never been one for actually dancing I tried to do every pole move I could think of, and a bit rusty doesn’t even come close to how much I sucked.

But the pole did what it had always done. It calmed me down, gave me something to focus on and allowed me to express all my anger into something productive.

Apprentice

From that point I began poling again- consistently. Within the next four years of that night I became a certified Advanced Instructor, a Strength & Conditioning Specialist and opened my pole business.

I divided my pole practices between tricks and combos/routines. To be honest, floor work and flow have never been my strength. But I did try- and hard. No matter how great you become in one aspect of pole dancing, there is always another to learn. And thus, pole dancing kept me excited, challenged and confident. Once again, it became my outlet for everything; happiness, anger, frustration all those emotions could be worked out on the pole.

And now, at seven and a half months pregnant I feel lost. Taking a forced hiatus from something you love is never easy and I find I’m struggling.

I am bombarded with amazing dancers all around me and my mind continues to be stimulated and motivated by new tricks, new ways of training. But my body simply cannot keep up.

Having never been one for floor work or flow, I find my pole practices lacking (on the off chance they occur) as I cannot perform the tricks as I’d like to.

Not exactly on the list of comfortable!

Not exactly on the list of comfortable!

To say the least, it’s frustrating. I’ve lost my outlet.

But every so often, when my energy is high and my body is warm I jump back on the pole. I combine some basic moves and remind myself that this hiatus isn’t everlasting. That movement, any movement be it awkward, graceful or gravity defying feels good.

And so once in a while I dance. Not because I have to but because I miss the feeling. Because the urge to pole can, at times, simply be overwhelming.

In the meantime, I’m putting all my efforts into strength training to ensure I don’t lose too much of my pole abilities. My moves may not be fluid- or actually even properly done haha- but I keep in mind that I’ll be back on the pole with a vengeance as soon as I can.

Happy Poling ๐Ÿ™‚